June 2, 2008

MY BUTT NURSE

I've come home from California with a fistful of needles.

Great big, 3 inch long needles.

And a husband who has been trained to use them. ON ME!

Yet, he turns pale and ashen at the sight of them.

Great. I can just see it now...a needle hanging out of my butt and Graham out cold on the floor.

I called a friend who is a nurse to see if she would be willing to come over and give Graham another hands on tutorial (oh the indignity!). But hey, whatever it takes to help build his confidence in jabbing a 3 inch needle into the rear of his wife.

My nurse friend immediately was like, "Never mind I'll just come by and do it for you each time."
Graham is jumping for joy and woozy with relief.

While we were making scheduling arrangements for her to come by to give me the shots, we got to discussing my IV treatment. I am on the bicillin injections until arrangements can be made for me to have a PICC Line installed. We figure that getting that done in Canada is not an option, so Dr H and his staff worked hard to make arrangements for my PICC line surgery to be done while we were still down in California.

However arranging one on an emergency basis was complicated and drove the cost of the surgery from $750 to $2000. Dr H felt my bicillin injections would help to hold the disease process at bay therefore giving us a little more time to set up a pre-arranged surgery. He's working on setting that up in Seattle or Portland so that I don't need to make another trip to California in the next couple of weeks.

As I explained this all to her, she all of sudden said she had thought of a way that I might possibly be able to get my PICC Line put in here. "Let me make some phone calls and I'll let you know what I find out when I come by to give you your butt shot tonight."

I was totally dumbfounded. Could there really be a way? You know when an immediate surgery ended up being a no-go in California, I had just had a sense that there was a reason for it. I really didn't believe that getting one done in Canada would be possible but I wondered... and knew I just had to trust God with the details.

My nurse friend arrived looking so very gleeful this evening. Of course, I assumed it had to do with the fact she was about to spring another lame butt joke on me - seriously, the butt jokes here have been in endless supply. ha ha.
However, she in her matter of fact, direct way happily announced, "Have your doctor fax over an rx for a PICC to this number. Your PICC line surgery has been arranged for next week."

I immediately burst into tears. Hugging her and thanking her.

She just grinned and gleefully commanded, "No thanks necessary. Now, drop your pants and bend over."


I was humbled
and incredibly grateful for her guidance and help.
My nurse friend insists on remaining anonymous
because it was "no big deal".

Which is why she's earned the hallowed title "MY BUTT NURSE"

And, yes, God works in mysterious ways.

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